Trials and Tribulations

Like everything else there are trials and tribulations which beset writers. I may seem far-fetched in saying so, but we writers constantly live in a fantasy world of characters and scenarios which constantly play over and over in our minds, and as Lord Byron said: “If I don’t write them down, I would go mad”. Paraphrase.
Like my fellow human race, I am constantly distracted from writing by “reality”. Since I am not a best selling published author (not even a published author, yet), I have to hold down a full time job to keep skin and bones together. Of course, this takes away from the amount of time I have to write.
When I come home, or on my days off, I’m bogged down with chores, cleaning, cooking, shopping, errands. I’m also very active in my church. Then along come life’s biggest ogre, SICKNESS.
I feel like this is an AA meeting but here goes.
I have been diagnosed with ADHD. What is ADHD? My short explanation is: Have you ever seen a really hyperactive child? Well, I am a very hyperactive adult. My parents were told by doctors back when I was a kid, that “I will grow out of it.”, but I never did. The truth is only a small percentage of hyperactive children grow out of it, me included.  So, like “Tigger” in “Winnie the Pooh”, I’m a 150 pound, 5’4”, “Sister” who bounces off the walls, and is a workaholic.
Occasionally this behavior leads to insomnia. The mind is so hyped up and “wired” it can’t settle down to rest, thus I cannot sleep.  Most importantly, the REM sleep which heals the mind and body is disturbed and cannot function.  Yes, I’ve gone the medical route (sleeping pills, etc) and prefer never to do that again. WARNING: Sedatives and sleeping pills are highly addictive!  But, doctors would rather “dispense” than warn you how to use them correctly to avoid addiction. . . . . . .
This week I had I call “a stretch” where I didn’t sleep for four days in a row. I was torn between three things. Should I write about what it is like to stay up so long?  Like a mad scientist I’ve always wanted to document it.  Should I go to the hospital? Should I just shut myself off from all outward stimuli (computer, books, radio, etc) and just chill in bed until I fall asleep.  The last one worked. Thank God.
Had it not, I would had to make a trip to my clinic where they would’ve prescribed Clonapin . . . . . . . .
In all honesty, I wanted to write, but WHAT would I have written? I have some examples of stuff I had written when “wired” and they read like a whole different person wrote them. I don’t like writing like that and I wouldn’t want to subject my readers to that without a full explanation first. Even then.




For further information on Adult ADHD please refer to the listed link.


Adult ADHD is Real says Howie Mandel




   
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