An Old Nemesis Returns

Early Tuesday morning (05/22/2012), my “Old Nemesis” returned with a bang.  I had a horrible panic attack at work.  

Every once in a while, I’ll buy food to take to work instead of preparing a meal in advance.  It takes planning, to leave meat out, prepare and pack up.  It seemed like I just couldn’t get my marbles straight in that area this week, so I’d been living on takeout.

My fave is Vegetable Lo Mein, and the store I get it from had run out, and only had Vegetable Fried Rice.  I was most disappointed.  I really didn’t feel like eating rice, but I took it because I had literally left the house with no food.  Not saying there are no restaurants in the area where I work.  There are, but they are too darned pricey, and if you are on a budget. . . . . . .  Yes, I’m a member of the POOR WRITERS SOCIETY.

I get to work, set up and started to eat, since it was quiet.  I get down to the last few bites and I suffered what I call “Throat Clench”.  I have this condition that sometimes when I eat rice, my throat, clenches up and whatever I swallowed gets stuck in the middle of my throat.  

SIDE NOTE:  A therapist informed me that “throat clench” symptom is often induced by extreme anxiety.  

For some strange and inexplicable reason, this always happens when I eat rice.  About three years ago, I’d banned rice from my diet because of this.  I slowly integrated it back into my diet over the course of a year and thought all was fine and dandy until yesterday.  

In the meantime I was in a quandary.  The last time this happened, I wound up in the Emergency Room.  I wouldn’t have had any problem because I work in a police precinct.   I would’ve gotten priority one service.

Instead I chose to go upstairs.  I tried to calm down by walking the hallway, and making frequent trips to the Porcelain Palace “to try”.  After about 45 minutes, I finally calmed down enough to throw up and my throat was cleared.   

I must add that at this time I could breathe I just couldn’t swallow.  It felt like my throat had clenched over a ping pong ball. . . .

Needless, I was extremely shaken, and spent the rest of my morning at work shaking like a Chihuahua.  Of course, no one know about my private hell but me and God.  

It looks like it’s no more rice for me for a while.  Funny, just the day before one of the guys (cops) suggested  I use Orzo as a substitute for rice. . . . . .  Guess what, on the way home, I caught Ozro on sale and bought two boxes.  

As for the workplace issues, which I can’t speak about,  I’m going to visit my union’s headquarters.  They have counseling services, and I’m going to take advantage of it.  Plus it will put them on alert that all is not happiness and rainbows in Who Ville.  

I’ll keep you posted.



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