I personally want to thank “Tasha Turner” for suggesting the subject for this particular post. Actually like a fisherman, she tossed out the line, and I took the bait and ran with it.That’s what writers do. . . . . . .
This is a subject that I constantly deal with all the time. Mostly at work, and in my personal life. What is it?
How do I deal with rumors?
Actually, I classify rumors as nothing more than gossip. At my workplace gossip practically runs the show. We have a very active grapevine which is where we get most of our news from around the city. About 50% of it is pure Bravo Sierra (BS in military jargon), and I’ve learned to not believe anything I hear unless I, 1. Get it from a legit source, and not the office gossip mongers. 2. I’m the Show Me Lady. Unless I see corresponding action, I don’t believe it.
This is especially difficult to do when one has a co-worker who specializes in spreading rumors/gossip.
When I first started working at my particular workplace, I was woefully naive and got sucked right into the gossip, rumors and innuendo mill. Back, then I didn’t know how to keep my stupid trap shut and mind my beeswax.
Well, I learned the hard way from my co-worker CeCe, who was quite literally an agent provocateur. She as also friends another co-worker (hereby named BeBe). BeBe and I became friends. CeCe and BeBe were friends longer, and I guess I was a threat to their friendship? I don’t know. What ever the issue was, CeCe made it her personal objective to destroy our friendship with rumor, gossip, and lies.
Unfortunately, I believed the things CeCe claimed BeBe said and responded with horrible things in kind. I didn’t know it then, but CeCe was the obvious tale carrier, and went running back with what I mindlessly said, and tattled to BeBe.
I didn’t learn the extent of the damage until BeBe literally quit speaking to me. In fact, she refused to speak to me for the next 11 years while we worked in the same office Imagine dealing with that all because of vicious lies! I had no clue back then that the whole thing was viciously orchestrated by CeCe!
Now, that BeBe and I no longer work together in the same office (but the same building), she speaks to me when we see each other. I was so disgusted with myself for being so utterly stupid to allow such an event to happen. I’m amazed that my words were so easily distorted and used to hurt another person.
However, because of that incident, I’m much wiser and much more vigilant. I still work with CeCe and she is still an incurable gossip. She literally enjoys office place drama to the point that if there is none, she will create some. Over the years I’ve watched as she broke up even more friendships, and in one instance, caused some folks to go to blows. All while she sits back, eats popcorn, drinks soda, and watches.
I now have a particular way of dealing with CeCe. I don’t take no guff from her, number one. I’ve found I can’t be sentimental with her because if I am, she will cling to my ear even harder. So, if our conversation is not directly related to work, the job or current events, I don’t want to hear it!
I don’t want to hear who is screwing whom, who is in bed with whom, or what ever else is going on. I was hired to do a job, and that’s what I’m all about in the workplace. Professionalism is key for me. That other stuff is not my business, and I don’t care to hear it.
Sadly, on numerous occasions I’ve had to “stand my ground” by being abrupt with CeCe. Especially when she insists on telling me something juicy. She’s actually became “offended” on several occasions that I don’t want to hear what she has to say! Imagine that? Guess what? I wasn’t hired to listen to your trash, I was hired to WORK! Grow up and get over it!
I do this to protect my mind and my well being. How can I maintain a positive outlook on my job and life if my mind is filled with negativity and garbage? Also when you listen to gossip or rumors about Person A, when you see Person A you start looking at them funny. Listening to gossip destroys people’s integrity. Now you are judging them according to the crap you heard. . . . . .
I don’t want to look at people funny, suspecting something untoward, unless they are wearing a clown suit, something just as outlandish, or if I suspect probable cause (suspect possible criminal activity afoot).
My Pastor once preached a sermon on gossip many years ago. The reason it still stays fresh in my mind is because he compared gossiping to “someone puking on you”! If you listen to and believe said gossip “you are eating the vomit!” Ewwwwww! I know, that’s ubber gross and ultra repulsive! My Pastor warned us that he wanted to make it as repulsive as possible, because that is how repulsive and offensive it is to God.
So how do you combat gossip? The last time I looked this is a free country, and if you don’t want to listen to vituperative comments about another person(s), you don’t have to. If no one is holding a gun to your head and telling you that you must listen, then, yes, you have the right to tell them “to get thee hence. . . .” Believe me, I’m being nice by saying “Get thee hence.”
In conclusion. According to an old Spanish proverb: “La persona que chismea a ti, también chismosas acerca de usted. ” Which literally means: “The person who gossips to you, also gossips about you.”
This further reveals that a gossiper can’t be trusted.
I rest my case. . . . . . . .