What Do You Write When You Feel Blah?

What Do You Write When You Feel Blah?

I‘ve been feeling blah for the past few weeks. It hits me every year about this time. When the seasons change from Summer to Fall, as I watch the days grow shorter, the leaves fall, and feel the temperature drop. All I want to do is curl up in bed and hibernate.

The psychiatrists have a term for this. It’s called Season Affective Disorder (SAD) and apparently many people suffer from it. This condition comes from the light deprivation which comes from shorter days and longer nights.

I’ve worked, the midnight shift for the past going on 19 years now. So I find it rather strange that I would suffer from a condition which affects “day walkers”. But, there is always an exception to the rule. Apparently I am “it” this time around.

You can read all about the symptoms and care here:

The only symptom I don’t have is the increased appetite. In fact I have very little appetite, but, I do suffer from the rest. My personal solution is to get out as much as possible. Even though I have a strong desire to become a hermitess. . . . . Yes, I made up that word.

Another problem I have is I don’t feel like writing much. Last year I was possessed by NaNo, so much so that I spent the entire Winter on what I had written that November. That was one wild and crazy ride and I promised never to do that again, unless of course after I’ve retired……….

I didn’t have plans to enter this year, because I already have enough unfinished projects on my plate. I happen to be obsessive about finishing one before starting another, as I also have a nasty tendency to forget what I don’t finish.

However, I believe NaNo2012 would be good therapy for me, even if I don’t win. It’s something which will keep me focused for the rest of the cold months until Spring.

Plus, it will keep me out of the doctors office. . . . . . .


The Right To Write

This just keeps going and going and going like the Ever Ready Bunny.  Like that stupid commercial I used to hear that has a lady scream “Oh my God, what a nightmare!”  Every time I think I’ve officially closed the last chapter on it, the darned thing raises it’s ugly multi-colored head once again to cause yet more grief.

  All I can say is some people don’t know how to leave well enough alone, until they wind up with a written complaint against them or in court.  Perhaps both.  So be it, I say.

This is the continuing story of ZaZa.  Ever since the past incidents I have not been writing and or editing at work.  I have been taking my netbook, but I only use it when I’m on break.  Why?  Because I don’t trust a certain person and don’t feel safe doing it.   

When it was quiet, meaning no work left to do, I would take out  Mini Me (my netbook) and work on my current project.  However, since the whole “Fake Website Incident”, I noticed ZaZa hovering around when I was writing,  and quite obviously trying to see what I was penning. In short, the woman has very poor trade craft.  If you are going to spy on me, you’re gonna have to do a much better job, okay, lady?  I’m the one who writes the detective and spy stuff so I kinda know. … . . . 

Now the bad part is, if you are a typical writer like me (very sensitive to ones surroundings when writing ), this type of behavior is disturbing enough to kill your muse.  Yes, Rhu was righteously ticked because she was SHAKEN AND STIRRED. . . . . .

So, I stopped writing in the office, only charged up Mini Me and took her upstairs to the break room to write when I was on break. Again, Rhu was intruded upon, as ZaZa would come flouncing upstairs to supposedly get something from her locker and chat.  Huh?  Why do I want to chat with you while I am on MY break?  The reason I’m on break is to GET AWAY FROM YOU LADY! Of course I knew better, she was checking on me and wanted to see what I was writing.  

So,  I was relegated to just taking Mini Me upstairs because I just didn’t trust leaving her around ZaZa when I’m not there.  Yes, I admit, I have not edited or written or edited a thing in about a month.  When The Olympics were on I just watched what ever sport was being telecast at 0400 hours in the morning.  Sports Eye Candy.

Last week Sunday I was asked by a church member to pen a dedication for our beloved pastor’s birthday.  So, on the way to work I stopped at Walgreens , bought a 99 cent legal pad, took it to work and began to write.  As soon as I got settled and put pen to paper Rhu began to flow.  However, like bees drawn to honey, guess who came over to hang over my shoulder?  Yep. . . . . . .

Now, I recognize that she is my supervisor (sorry, I had neglected to mention this earlier) and thus has control over what happens in the office.  However, if all of the work is done, and it is quiet, we have the freedom to either read, write, or check our texts and stuff. The only other alternative is to fall asleep at ones desk, which is frowned upon, as you well know.  So, I decided to write.  She had previously mentioned something about a ban on using netbooks because another worker and I both use one and there were negative comments made by the Upper Echelon. 

IMPORTANT NOTE:  We used to have internet access on our work computers, right up until the time the Upper Echelon found out the guys were surfing the web for porn. . . . . . So, now it’s all INTRA-NET (internal network – no outside stuff ).  This is the reason some of us carry netbooks, laptops and i-pads to work. . . . . .  

BACK TO THE STORY . . . . . .

 So, I can understand that ZaZa might not want me use my computer in the office, though I am well within my rights to do so.  However, I wonder if she is now going to ban me from writing on paper, or is she so jealous (that’s right JEALOUS) that she is trying to intimidate me from doing s0?  

If so, this is now a Constitutional Rights issue.  I have the First Amendment right to free speech (which includes writing) and I also have the right to privacy (freedom from the intimidation of one hanging over my shoulder to see what I’m writing).  I have not put the question to ZaZa yet, but I will the next time I detect this behavior.  

I understand we had a prior disagreement (pure JEALOUSY that. . ), however this nonsense has gone to darned far and I must squash it permanently.  This not only affects my writing, but it is affecting my ability to perform my job.  After all, how can I work when we are both watching each other like the King Cobra and the Mongoose?

It is most unfortunate that I might have to take it to the next level. Which is filing a formal harassment complaint.   Who would’ve thought things would become so nasty?  

Some people just don’t get it. . . . . . . . .  

Some people REALLY need to get a life. . . . . .

What’s Wrong With My Hair?

I must apologize, I have been in remiss.  I meant to address this issue since earlier this week, but as usual, I got distracted.  What is this most pressing issue?  Hair!  That’s right, hair!


I’m officially making my two cents known.   Why?  Because I was thoroughly disgusted to hear and read that Gabrialle Douglas, after she had won an Olympic Gold Medal was excoriated on social networks because of her hair.  Because of what?  You ask.  Her HAIR!

Being a Black woman myself, I know all about this stuff.  It is a cultural thing for Black women to have good looking hair.  This was drilled into me from since I was a little girl.  My mom made sure my hair was nicely combed, greased, styled or braided.  As I got older mom went out and bought a hot comb to straighten my nappy hair, and rollers to roll it up.  When I got even older, I went to the hairdresser and she did it.  But, when ever a special occasion came up, Mom made sure my hair was “did”.  That’s right, I said, DID!

Point being:  It was deeply ingrained in us as children, that a Black woman should never appear in public without having her hair properly done.  Forget about being on television!  To do that would be a disgrace to the race!  You didn’t see Oprah ever do that, did you?

I don’t know about any other city or country but in New York City, one of the boroughs is Brooklyn.  Two of the nicknames for Brooklyn are:  The borough of CHURCHES and the borough of HAIR DRESSERS.  Seemingly there are churches and HAIRDRESSERS on every block in certain sections of Brooklyn.    Why?  Because Black women believe in getting their hair done!  Not only in  perms, but weaves and braids.  It doesn’t matter if they get charged by the foot for “hair extensions”.  As far as they are concerned, they bought “the hair”, and it’s theirs!

I recently went to a hairdresser to get a shape up.  During the course of my wait, I witnessed a woman having a weave SEWN into her hair, with COAT THREAD!  She looked like a million dollars after, but,  I couldn’t help but wonder, “OMG! is this what we (Black Women ) have to go through in order to have great hair?”   Yes, apparently so.

As for Gabby, I feel it was childish and ridiculous to make fun of her hairstyle.  Number one everyone should remember that she was competing in a championship sport.  A sport where she needed to concentrate on every single move and didn’t need the distraction of hair flying into her face. Or wonder, “How does my hair look?” 

  Number two, when you compete in sports like this, unless you are swimming, you are going to sweat!   I’m not talking a light film of perspiration,   I’m talking  a flood of sweat running down your face.  Loose hair or a ” frew-frew” hairstyle would make it even worse.  

Plus,  in world class Gymnastics only certain hairstyles and dress are permitted.  The Olympic committee promotes uniformity, not uniqueness.   Which means gymnasts get points taken deducted  for not conforming.   In other words, if the Olympic standard is that everyone must wear a ponytail, or bun,  Gabby toed the line and wore one.  Period!  

I can say I feel her pain because I went through the same thing in my lifetime as a Black woman.  Back in 2001 I made a decision to go dread, or grow dreadlocks.  I immediately felt like people took a frying pan and hit me upside the head!  Folks were in two camps.  Either they kept asking me why I did THAT to my hair, or they told me I needed to take those THINGS out and have my nappy hair straightened (My Mom was a member of the 2nd camp ) .  Here I am a 50 plus year old woman and grown people were telling me this nonsense!  So you can imagine a poor little 16 year old girl . . . . . . .  

I also caught flack after I cut my locks off!   The first question was, why?  My Mom had passed away and what I did (cutting my locks off) was a sign of mourning.   People backed off when I said that.  Again, I say, I can imagine poor Gabby and how she felt.   Words like these can be truly devastating.  It probably seemed like all of  her  hard work, training and sacrifice was for naught.    

All I ask is, can we forget the stupid cultural strictures for once?  Forget the hair issue and recognize that Gabby Douglas is the first Black American gymnast to win Gold,  and boost her up!  Period!    Okay? 

 I shut up now. . . . . . .

Don’t Look Back

“Don’t look back!”  This is the phrase my collage track coach, Mr. Johnson,  always  drilled into us.  

Why did he stress this so often?  Simply because it is human nature to look back.  However, when you were in competition, no matter if it was a sprint, a relay, cross country, or long distance, you didn’t need any distractions.  It is imperative to concentrate on what is ahead of you not what is behind you.  What’s ahead of you?  Winning or finishing the race.  

Newbies to the track team always looked back.   They were running out in front of the pack, and were winning the race.  All of a sudden, while running, they glance over their shoulder at their competitors, and literally trip and  fall flat on their faces on the track.  Not only did this hurt, but they lost valuable time scrambling to regain their footing and momentum thus,  LOST the race!  

Surprisingly there IS a way to keep track of your competitors without turning your head around to look.  Remember that old joke, “I know you are there because I can hear you breathing”?  Everyone is huffing and puffing like an old fashion steam locomotive to get to the same destination as you, sooooooo.

 Also, there are certain vantage points where you can make use of during the race.  In  longer races where the track curves,  you can clearly  see  who’s behind you without turning around.  This also applies to cross country races where there are switchbacks where you run uphill, turn, reverse course, then meet your fellow competitors coming back down the same hill.   

The whole point being, don’t get distracted!   Set your mind on finishing the course which you have set out to do!  If you fall, no matter how many times,  get up, and finish the race!   The most important thing is to accomplish your goal!  Why?  Because no one else is gonna accomplish it for you.    


VBT – My Special Inspiration

The MasterKoda Facebook group blog tour is at the half-way mark. we are  grateful to have you join us as we discuss the topic: “What was the inspiration for the novel you are writing?”  K.D. Emerson shares a more personal side of her life. Not something you will see very often.

My inspiration comes in so many forms, a thought, a song, a look, a moment.

In this case my work in progress, the young adult Digitus series, comes from my life experiences (and the wisdom/or lack thereof that they created). There were some reoccurring themes that wound themselves throughout my life. At times I became entangled in them until I finally broke free and am now looking at those topics from a victor’s platform. The main themes of my upcoming novel Digitus 233 are captivity versus freedom, mind control versus free choice, and victim versus victory. Although serious writing on this work started this past May I have had the story and outline in my mind for many years.

The book explores what it feels like to be victimized; to be held captive on foreign soil, to have your mind controlled by something other than your own true self. Although these seem like heavy subjects for a young adult novel I feel it is an important story for today’s future leaders as they weigh out important choices in a society that would lead them to believe there is no real hope.

In its simplest form the Digitus Series it is the story of victory over evil.

Digitus 233 is a fast paced, on-the-edge-of-your-seat thriller that keeps the action coming and the people real. The five main characters must learn to trust and rely on each other in order to endure the extreme tests they face, the first of which is survival on an arctic island with nothing but the clothes on their backs.

To experience a scene from Digitus 233 you can go here: http://debrajayneeast.blogspot.com/2012/07/special-guest-kd-emerson-shares-her.html

Thanks to all of you for taking time out of your schedules to visit me. I would love to hear what inspires you to greater living? What person has been an example? What piece of art or music brings you joy and makes you want to get up and dance?

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Author, KD Emerson was born (or is that hatched) several years ago. We won’t go into how long it has been because she has this fantasy that she is still a teenager off to conquer the world. She has a passion for the written word and assisting other writers in becoming the best they can be. She also loves to promote others and cheer them on to victory. Follow her on twitter @MstrKoda or you can find her at www.masterkoda.com and on Facebook at www.facebook.com/kimmutch.emerson

Thank you so much Kim, for stopping by, opening up, and revealing a very personal side of yourself.  This  helps to give courage who others who need to do the same, and a remind us who already do that we should not stop.

Want to know what inspired Amadi Kyymm’s first book?  Please click the following link to Natalie Star’s Blog and find out!




Busy As A Bee

On Thursday July 5th at approximately 1600 hours (4pm civilian time) I deleted my “Radical Scribblings” blog at BLOGGER, thus ridding myself of a major pain in the neck. I hope. . . . . . .

I’m still in the moving process. I’m trying to set things up and changing things around to my liking. I’ve found that WordPress is a bit more complicated than Blogger. But, I’ve used WordPress in the past, so it’s only a matter of getting used to the format again. “It’s like riding a bike or learning to swim, once you learn it, you never forget it. It’s the learning part that gets ya.”

I’ve also found out that there are several features which I had on Blogger that I don’t have here on WordPress. Things like different text styles, colored text, and being able to title one’s link instead of just posting the plain link. The latter may be possible and I just may not know how to do it yet. I also miss being able to an MP3 player on my blog. But, I believe I would have to upgrade to a paid account in order to do that. Something to look into for the future.

There was also the problem of the “bugs”. Meaning, I’d cut and paste a post to my blog and publish.  When I went back to view said post it would look like crap. Mixed matched lettering, and triple spacing between sentences. It was enough to make me scream! However, I remember’s Brad Flemming’s suggestion. Notepad. I downloaded a free version of it from C-Net, paste my copy on Note Pad, then copied from Note Pad and pasted to my blog, and voila! No more “bugs”!

That seems like a lot of little steps to do one thing, post a blog entry. But if you want your blog entries and blog to look “professional” . . . . . . .

The excitement of the move has died down a bit.  So, with the unpacking mostly do, I’m in the midst of checking all of my posts and cleaning  them up one by one.  Admittedly, some of the earlier posts looked “jacked up”, so I can’t just bury them the way my cats do in the litter box. . . .

I guess this is going to be my Summer 2012 project, as well as editing “Knight Riders”. I’m going to be busy as a bee, but I’m loving it. . . .

Remember that question you got at school after summer vacation? Children I want you to write a story on: “What I did during my Summer Vacation.”, the teacher would say.  My answer would be simple. “What Summer Vacation?”  I guess I’d get suspended for that answer. . . . . . . .